Holding Space

IMG_4612I am the eldest daughter in a family of five siblings, and I have been a natural born “fixer” for much of my adult life. It is my training as a Life Coach that has taught me more powerful and authentic ways of being in the world, both with my loved ones and with my tribe at large. So when my sister called to share with me a tragedy that has befallen a dear friend of hers, the loss of a child, I was compelled to share some of what I have learned…the beauty and power of “holding space” and to explain what the concept means to me in light of this tragedy.

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Shovel or Pain


It’s very often said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And while this threadbare cliché is hardly correct, it does have some merit in the reminder that beating one’s head against a wall might very well lead to brain damage, which could be sadly mistaken for insanity.

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A Drama-Free Zone


Or Putting the Fun Back into Dysfunctional

A wise man once told me that every family, since the biblical beginning of the human race, has some dysfunction; even Eve had an impulse control issue and just had to take a bite of that apple. We can, however, choose to put some fun back into our own version of dysfunction. For a myriad of reasons, navigating the holiday season can be like tiptoeing through a minefield littered with emotional explosive devices.

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Death as Lesson


Last week, it was Robin Williams, who was strangled by the relentlessness of depression. And now, we have courageous journalists slaughtered by savages. Last month, it was Paula, and this week, Mark, both friends in their fifties whose hearts betrayed them swiftly and decisively. The list goes on and on, of lives extinguished prematurely.

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Do you remember…?


You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

Sailing up the New England coast and into Maine, I am reminded of the old adage “If you want to know what the weather is like, just wait a minute.” It’s true that the weather in the sea can change in a moment’s notice; one’s senses become attuned to the scent of shifting winds.

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We celebrated my mother’s 93rd birthday today. I am overwhelmed with gratitude that she remains healthy, active and clear of mind, especially in light of how I see others aging.  I believe old age is simply a distillation of a life lived.  My mother has always been a kind and loving person, generous and forgiving.  Her deep faith guided her through life’s challenges…my sister’s tragic brain injury, torturous 30 year decline and death, and the loss of my father 10 years ago.

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Cooling Off


Today was a particularly muggy day and  I chuckled when I saw the text of my clever feline friend, Pip, cooling himself on an ice pack, while sailing down the Delaware Bay.   I was reminded of this.  I was coaching one of my Super Stars a while back (all clients are super stars…they hire a coach in order to connect with their Super Stardom!) around a breakup with his Love Interest.   They were perfect together, he said…similar interests, great sex! All was right with the world.  That is, until Love Interest decided to give her ex “one last chance” to be the person that she thought he could be in her life.  She hadn’t wanted to waste the x number of years she had invested in the relationship with ex.  Super Star was devastated. ..he was convinced that no one could make Love Interest as happy as he himself could.

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